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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29661405">Olivia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellaBGibson/pseuds/StellaBGibson'>StellaBGibson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Fall (TV 2013)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adoption, Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:41:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29661405</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellaBGibson/pseuds/StellaBGibson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Stella finds herself with a traumatised eight year old on her hands in the aftermath of Sally-Ann's illness.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This came from the scene in the hospital where Olivia asks Stella for a hug and the look on Stella's face as she holds Olivia... it probably won't be for everyone but that's okay :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stella sat at her desk, still reeling from the day’s news. The image of Olivia Spector sitting alone on the hospital bed, wrapped in a blanket, and holding her arms out for a hug was haunting her. Her heart truly ached for the little girl. She had lost so much in such a short space of time. Her father was gone, arrested, on a ventilator and on track to spend the rest of his life in prison. <em>If</em> he survived his injuries. Her mother was under twenty-four-hour supervision on the psych ward, completely unresponsive. And now her little brother was gone, too. His fight for his life was over.</p><p>A knock on her office door startled Stella from her thoughts and she almost jumped out of her skin at the noise. She was surprised to see who her visitor was. She’d been expecting to see Olivia’s social worker sometime soon, but not at ten to ten at night.</p><p>“Detective Superintendent Gibson. I’m sorry to bother you so late.”</p><p>Stella dismissed the apology with a small shake of her head and motioned for the other woman to come in. “Mrs Tracy. I was just thinking about Olivia. How is she?”</p><p>Mrs Tracy sighed. “Better than this morning. Marginally. She won’t speak much, just wants a cuddle all the time. She was sad that you left earlier.”</p><p>Stella breathed out a slow breath in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. She noticed that the woman in front of her looked similarly sad, despite all the depravity she had seen in her career.</p><p>“I have here in my bag papers regarding the custody of Olivia.” Stella frowned in confusion at the other woman’s words. There was no reason for her to be involved in such matters. “Paul Spector has lost his parental rights over her. And Sally-Ann has relinquished hers… to you.”</p><p>Stella froze, staring at Mrs Tracy blankly. “What?”</p><p>“She filed the papers first thing this morning. In the event that something were to happen to her, you were to receive custody of both children. Sadly, that’s only Olivia now.”</p><p>“What about the Goodalls? Sally-Ann’s parents?”</p><p>“They’re not fit or capable or caring for young children for any length of time. She knew that and so did they. I’ve already spoken to them. They seem to agree with her.”</p><p>“Isn’t this a conflict of interest? I’m the SIO of the investigation that led to her father’s arrest, and near death.”</p><p>“In the eyes of the family court that’s irrelevant. When Sally-Ann amended the papers this morning, she was spoken to by a qualified professional who believed her state of mind was sound, that she was capable of making informed and clear decisions. Given what we know now, they’ve looked into the interview again, but either Sally-Ann truly <em>was</em> fine this morning and something set her off later, or she’s a hell of a liar. The alternative is that Olivia goes into foster care if you feel you’re unable to care for her.</p><p>Stella sighed; it was a lot to take in. Mrs Tracy seemed to see her internal struggle and reached across to place a hand over the blonde’s. “Olivia is still in hospital. She’s being kept in for observation for a while. You don’t need to make a decision immediately, but the sooner the better.”</p><p>“I live and work in London. What happens when the case is over?”</p><p>“You take her with you. If you accept custody of Olivia, you’ll start the adoption process to make her your daughter. Is there anything else you’d like to ask?”</p><p>“I’m a single woman with a demanding job and not much in the way of a support system. In what way am I their best option?”</p><p>“The way they see it, you’re a woman with an incredible maternal instinct. You’re a mother who works hard to provide a safe, stable environment for her daughter.”</p><p>“My daughter spends a lot of time with her grandparents on her father’s side. Olivia wouldn’t have that. While they are lovely people, I’m not entirely sure how willing they would be to take in an older child they don’t know who will also no doubt suffer from some form of PTSD.”</p><p>“I understand, but there is help available. Think it over and get back to me. My phone is always on. And like yourself, I seem to spend many nights in my office. You know where to find me.”</p><p>“Why would Sally-Ann do this?”</p><p>Mrs Tracy pulled a piece of paper from her bag and slid it across the table to Stella. “This is an excerpt of the interview transcript from this morning’s interview with Kim Flannigan.”</p><p>Stella was too busy reading the paper to bid goodbye to the social worker.</p><p>
  <em>KF: Why Stella Gibson?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>S-AS: A while ago I covered a shift on the OB ward at the hospital where I work. Stella came in at the start of my shift as an emergency admission to be kept overnight and monitored. She had a miscarriage during the night. We talked a little and I found out that it’s her fifth. She has one little girl already. She’s a good mother who deserves to have more children. My parents aren’t fit to raise the kids, neither Paul nor I have any other family. I’d rather they would go to someone I know will care for them than end up in the system. I know what can happen to children who spend time in group foster homes or care homes. Not everyone does it for the love of children. A lot of people do it for the money. My children have experienced enough trauma already. If anything happened to me I couldn’t bear the thought of them suffering any more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>KF: You’re aware that Miss Gibson has a highly demanding job and as such works irregular hours?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>S-AS: Yes. But my children have grown up with me working irregular shifts at the hospital, their father worked two jobs for a while, one during the day and one overnight. They’re used to it. Her job might be demanding but it pays relatively well, and it’s a steady job. From what I could tell, she’d go to the ends of the earth to make sure her daughter has everything she could ever want or need. I know she’d care for them as if they were her own.</em>
</p><p>Stella felt the tears streaming down her cheeks and slowly brought one hand to wipe them from her chin. She had forgotten about her conversation with Sally-Ann following the confirmation that she was having yet another miscarriage.  She was amazed that it had struck the woman enough to convince her to entrust her with her two children. Whether Sally-Ann had been mentally sound during the interview or not didn’t matter, her reasons were valid.</p><p>Before she registered what she was doing, Stella was holding her phone to her ear, waiting for Mrs Tracy to answer.</p><p>“Detective Superintendent. I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon. Is everything okay?”</p><p>“I’ll do it. I’ll take her.” Stella knew the other woman would pick up on the tears in her voice but she couldn’t bring herself to care. “Just tell me what I need to do.”</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>Stella’s heart was beating out of her chest. Mrs Tracy was in the hospital room talking to Olivia now. Stella was hovering near the nurse’s station, waiting for the okay to go and talk to Olivia herself. She had called Eastwood at the crack of dawn to tell him an emergency had come up and she wouldn’t be available for the best part of the day. He hadn’t questioned it but she knew he’d have questions when she got back.</p><p>The door was opened a crack and Stella took the invitation. She wasn’t sure how Olivia was going to react to the news. She didn’t really know the girl save for a few meetings in a police station.</p><p>“Olivia, you remember Stella?”</p><p>In a heart wrenching repeat from yesterday, Olivia simply lifted her arms for a hug. Once again, Stella cradled the girl against her, holding her tightly as she tried to figure out where to begin.</p><p>“I’ll go wait outside while you two get to know each other. If either of you need me, I’ll be right outside the door.”</p><p>When Olivia finally pulled out of the hug, Stella drew up a chair and sat down in front of the young girl, allowing her to lead the conversation. Olivia was silent for a long while, her eyes taking in Stella’s appearance but avoiding eye contact.</p><p>“Heather said you have a little girl?”</p><p>Stella nodded and a small smile came to her face. “I do. I have two actually, but one of them isn’t very little anymore.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I was very young when I had my first baby so she’s a grownup now.”</p><p>“But you’re not old. What age were you when she was born?”</p><p>“I was only fifteen.”</p><p>“But that’s not a grownup yet. I thought only grownups could have babies.” Olivia frowned in confusion, looking up at Stella with large eyes.</p><p>“Sometimes by mistake it can happen earlier, like it did to me.”</p><p>“What’s her name?”</p><p>“Her name is Sophie.”</p><p>“Does she still live with you?”</p><p>“Sometimes. Right now she’s living in my house to look after her little sister. But most of the time she lives at her university because it’s too far to travel every day.”</p><p>Olivia went quiet for a moment before she reached out for one of Stella’s hands. Stella held her hand out and let Olivia take it in both of hers. “Can you tell me about your other little girl? Is she big, too?”</p><p>Stella gave her a small smile. “Her name is Leigh. And she’s still quite small, she only just turned one, just a bit over a month ago.”</p><p>Olivia let her eyes trail over Stella’s hand, examining her bare fingers. “You don’t have a ring on. Do your little girls have a daddy?”</p><p>Stella hesitated in an attempt to figure out what to say. “Not really. They have different daddies. Sophie’s father didn’t want to have a baby so he moved away. I haven’t seen him in a very long time. Leigh’s daddy wasn’t a very nice man so we don’t see him now.”</p><p>“What did he do? Did he do something bad to you?”</p><p>Stella took a deep breath, she wasn’t about to go into detail, but she didn’t want to start by lying to the girl. “He used to start fights a lot and hit people. He thought he wouldn’t get into trouble for it.”</p><p>“Did he hit you?”</p><p>“Sometimes.” Stella admitted with a sigh. “But that was a long time ago. I’m okay now and he’s gone.”</p><p>“You’re not supposed to hit people. Especially not people you’re supposed to love.”</p><p>“That’s right, good girl.” Olivia smiled at the praise but remained silent and thoughtful for a few more moments, still clinging to Stella’s hand.</p><p>“Do your children look like you? Where are they?”</p><p>Stella thought for a moment, mentally picturing her girls and their features. They both had blonde hair and blue eyes, her eyes. Leigh looks most like me, Sophie looks a little bit less. And they’re in London right now.”</p><p>“Are you from London? Do they sound like you when they talk?”</p><p>Stella nodded. “I am. Sophie sounds a bit like me when she talks, but not exactly the same. Leigh is still learning to talk, right now all she can really say is mama and hiya, and she’s trying to say Sophie’s name. But when she can talk her accent will probably be a bit like mine.”</p><p>“Heather said I was going to go home with you. Does that mean just when the doctor says I can leave, or does it mean I get to go to London?”</p><p>“Both, sweetheart. When the doctor says you’re ready to leave, you’ll come to stay with me. And when it’s time for me to go back to London, you’ll come with me then, too.”</p><p>Olivia nodded but it wasn’t long before tears formed in her eyes and she finally looked in Stella’s eyes. “Does that mean you want me?”</p><p>Stella swallowed the lump in her throat and moved to sit next to Olivia, wrapping an arm around her. “It does.”</p><p>“Why didn’t my mummy want me?”</p><p>“Oh sweetheart.” Stella breathed, pulling Olivia into a soft but comforting hug. “She did want you, darling. But she got her feelings hurt really, really badly, and it made her sick. Too sick. She thought that she was doing the right thing.”</p><p>Stella tried to remember everything she’d been told that morning about what she should and shouldn’t say to Olivia but now that she was in the moment, all she wanted was to wrap the girl in her arms and protect her from any more harm.</p><p>“I was scared. And cold.”</p><p>“I know. She didn’t mean to scare you; she just didn’t want you to feel as hurt as she does.”</p><p>Olivia said nothing but buried her face in Stella’s chest. Stella simply stroked her hair in an attempt to soothe her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to everyone for their lovely comments on the first chapter! I'll get back to everyone individually soon :D</p><p>I was hoping that the chapters would be a little longer than with Breathe as they seemed a bit short, but I tend to just split it where it feels natural and that does mean that some are longer than others! The updates probably won't be daily as I've had a massive concussion recently and have a lot of college work to catch up on, so obviously that unfortunately has to come first 😫</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was almost eleven PM when Stella knocked on Eastwood’s office door. He looked up at the sound and the surprise registered on his face as he took in her appearance. Instead of her usual formal office wear, Stella was dressed in a pair of blue jeans paired with a simple grey long sleeved top and a long coat, complete with a pair of Converse trainers on her feet. Her hair was pulled into a loose low bun and she looked tired.</p><p>“Stella… I wasn’t expecting to see you. Is everything okay?”</p><p>Stella entered the office and shut the door before collapsing in the seat in front of Eastwood’s desk. “I’ve been given custody of Olivia Spector.”</p><p>Had she not been so tired Stella would have found it comical the way Eastwood’s jaw dropped. He recovered quickly and took a deep breath. “Not what I was expecting you to say. How did that happen?”</p><p>“Before her mental break, Sally-Ann filed papers stating that should anything happen to her, that I was to be given custody of both children. With Liam’s death that now obviously only applies to Olivia. The Goodall’s aren’t in a position to care for her, and they and the social worker believe that the best place for her is with me, even if that means taking her to London.”</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>Stella sighed and nodded. “Just tired. I was up most of the night last night. Spent most of today at the hospital with her trying to make sure she has at least a base level of comfort before she has to come home with me. After that was a meeting with a lawyer. Since then I’ve been trying to find a short-term lease on a house or a flat somewhere here. I can’t just take her back to a hotel room.”</p><p>“You look like you could use a strong drink and some good food.”</p><p>“Are you offering?” Stella smirked, not expecting the nod he gave in return. A wave of panic washed over her. Did he really just want a drink and a late dinner, or was he angling for more? If he tried to go further, did she want to let him? Her thoughts must have been written on her face because a moment later, Eastwood chuckled.</p><p>“Don’t look so scared. You’re the picture of exhaustion, I’ve had Burns breathing down my neck all day. We both need to eat, and a drink with dinner doesn’t mean anything. No expectations.”</p><p>Stella nodded as he stood and she held out an arm for him to pull her to her feet. They had become unlikely acquaintances since he’d been assigned as her Deputy SIO. The more time they spent together, the easier it was to let their guard down and show more of their real personalities rather than the personas they carried at work.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>~X~</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Stella watched from their table as Eastwood stood at the bar ordering their drinks. The pub was small. Cosy but light with a friendly atmosphere. She watched him approach the table with two glasses of amber liquid and thanked him when he pushed one towards her.</p><p>“So what happens now then? With Olivia?” Eastwood asked once they had ordered their food.</p><p>Stella took a long breath. “Paul Spector has no rights over her anymore. He won’t get them back without a lengthy court case which he is likely to lose. Sally-Ann is awake but unresponsive in hospital and unable to care for herself much less her daughter. The social workers on Olivia’s case have been in contact with an office in London. Tomorrow they’re going to go to my house to make sure it’s suitable. Or at least suitable enough to do until I can make other arrangements. Given my career, the background check was easy and they’re happy with it…”</p><p>Stella trailed off and thanked the waitress for their food.</p><p>“They’re a little bit concerned at how often my job took me away from London until last year, especially given that I’m in Belfast now. However, my boss in London has a meeting with them tomorrow to confirm that I am relatively in control of how often I travel for work. And that generally a review doesn’t turn into a serial case that has me away for months. I’m fortunate that I get to turn down a case if it will take me out of town. This is the first time I’ve been away in just over a year so that works in my favour.”</p><p>“What’s so special about last year?” Eastwood asked curiously.</p><p>“I have a fourteen month old daughter. I stopped travelling for work when she was born. The only reason I came to Belfast at all was because the officer it was originally given to was in a car accident and is still in intensive care. I was only supposed to be here for a week or two, until the case grew arms and legs.” Stella explained. “But like I said, it works in my favour that I’ve been in London since Leigh was born. It shows that I don’t make a habit of abandoning my tiny child.”</p><p>“How are you feeling about all of this?”</p><p>Stella sighed and shook her head. “I’m still processing it. In twenty six hours I’ve gone from only having the case to focus on to also having a traumatised, grieving eight year old who has lost everything she’s ever known and whose world has been entirely flipped on its head. I’m not sure how to handle it to be honest. I have a degree in child psychology but I don’t want her to think she’s under the microscope all the time. She needs to be able to relax and start healing properly.”</p><p>Eastwood reached across the table and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “If anyone can do this, it’s you. You’ve got it in you and you know it’s okay to ask for help if you need it.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Stella gave him a small smile and took a sip of her drink. “Now… I’ve told you more about my personal life than most people I work with in London. So I think it’s only fair we make it even. Spill it.”</p><p>“What do you want to know?”</p><p>“Anything.”</p><p>Eastwood looked thoughtful for a moment. “I don’t have much of a life anymore. It’s usually just filled with work. I played football as a lad. I was married, now not. I don’t have much of a social life. No pets except for a few fish. When I was a lad I wanted to be a pilot but then my mother was stabbed by a man with a grudge against my father.”</p><p>“Any children?”</p><p>“No. Wanted them though. We tried for a while but it never happened. After a few failed attempts and a few more losses, we gave up. I grew up an only child with workaholic parents. Decided when I was about ten that when I had kids there would be a handful of them. Or at very least two or three.”</p><p>“I’m sorry… when I found out I was expecting Leigh it was like a shock to the system. I had a rather traumatic first delivery and afterwards was told that I’d probably never conceive naturally again and if I did then I likely wouldn’t make it past the first trimester. They were right about the second part. Until Leigh, that is. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was almost five months along.”</p><p>“You have more than just your baby?”</p><p>Stella nodded. “My father died when I was fourteen and I went off the rails. Got pregnant at fifteen. So now I have a twenty three year old called Sophie who is studying law. Leigh is my youngest.”</p><p>“Wow, I didn’t expect that from you.” Eastwood chuckled. “Was everything okay with your second?”</p><p>Stella nodded again. “Somehow perfect. The doctors were surprised at the recovery from the first pregnancy and delivery but considering they were over twenty years apart it may not be all that shocking. Given that history though and the fact that I was over thirty five, they kept a close eye on me but everything was fine. She was born screaming exactly on her due date.”</p><p>“Would you ever have more?”</p><p>Stella stared at her drink as she mulled it over. “I’m not sure. Right now, no. I’ve already got one tiny person to run around after and now Olivia, too. Maybe sometime in the future if I were to meet someone, but I’m not looking for a relationship. I don’t need it. I did always want a boy though. When I had Sophie I admit to being more than a little annoyed that she was a girl, took me three weeks to name her because I had been so certain that she would be a boy. What about you?”</p><p>Eastwood sighed and dropped his gaze to his glass. “I don’t know. Like I said before, I don’t have much of a life outside of work. I’m not looking for a relationship either, but sometimes life does feel a bit empty when I come home to an empty flat at the end of a case.”</p><p>Stella knew the feeling all too well. With Sophie away university, until Leigh was born she had worked all the overtime she was allowed just to avoid her empty house.  “Why don’t we head back to my hotel. This place looks like it’s about to shut. I have twenty four hour room service, plenty of alcohol and it’s considerably better than whatever it is they’re selling here.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>~X~</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Inside Stella’s hotel room, Eastwood watched as she immediately dumped her bag and jacket on a chair and kicked off her shoes, taking another sliver of height from her. Until today, he hadn’t noticed her small stature. Whether it was the confidence she carried herself with, or the wardrobe and the heels she usually wore, he had simply never noticed just how tiny she was.</p><p>She held out another scotch to him and dropped down onto the other end of the couch, leaving a foot or so between them. They stayed quiet for a few moments as they drank, neither sure how to restart the conversation.</p><p>“Any particular reason you can’t bring Olivia back here?”</p><p>Stella sighed and with a shrug she looked around. “It’s nice and it’s certainly comfortable, but she needs a home. Even a temporary one. Being in a hotel still throws me off balance sometimes and what she needs right now is steady. It’s difficult, not knowing how long I’ll be here. If I have to I’ll just rent somewhere and if I have to go back to London before it’s up I’ll just continue making the payments until it’s up.”</p><p>“There’s a house not far from my place. It’s nothing fancy. Two bedrooms with a small garden. Seems in good enough condition. I can get you the number and you can see if they’d be willing to do a short term let.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Eastwood nodded and they drank in silence for a while. Neither were sure of where to take the conversation next but it wasn’t awkward. Stella let out a long sigh as she finished her drink and wordlessly refilled her glass, doing the same for Eastwood’s.</p><p>When she sat down again, the exhaustion was visible from a mile away and he held an arm out for her to sit beside him. She contemplated it for a moment before she scooted over and tucked her legs under her, curling herself into him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and smiled when she let out a soft sigh.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please let me know what you think! I'm a needy writer and comments reassure me that people want to be reading my work :D they are so appreciated though!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stella awoke to her alarm clock the next day with a groan. It was earlier than she would have liked but she had to get back to the station to collect her car before she could visit Olivia. Without opening her eyes she rolled over to shut it off and was momentarily confused when she collided with another warm body.</p><p>As she opened her eyes, she saw Eastwood reaching over to turn off the alarm. She hadn’t planned on sleeping with him but for once, she didn’t regret it. It hadn’t meant anything but it had been a little more tender than the nights she has shared with Olson and Anderson. They had both been exhausted, vulnerable and in need of human connection and they had provided that for one another.</p><p>She was grateful when Eastwood didn’t make it awkward. He simply got dressed and watched as she got ready, throwing on her jeans from yesterday and a different comfortable top. She pulled her hair into another low bun, running a brush through the strands that fell around her face.</p><p>Once she was ready, he drove them back to the station with a stop for coffee on the way. They hadn’t spoken about the night before but it was a comfortable silence, neither having had enough sleep to warrant a conversation.</p><p>“Stella.” Eastwood’s voice called after her as she made for her car, when she turned around he gave her a smile. “I’ll find out about that house for you and send you the details as soon as I can. I hope she’s okay.”</p><p>Stella sent him a smile and a nod in thanks before she climbed into her BMW and made for the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>Stella was by Olivia’s bedside, holding the girl’s hand and scrolling through her phone when Eastwood’s text came through. She smiled at the message.</p><p>
  <em>Hope all is well. I phoned the letting agency and they’re willing to let it out month by month. I managed to set up an appointment for you to view the house this afternoon at two. If that doesn’t suit, let me know and I can call and change it, Matt.</em>
</p><p>Stella clicked on his name and found the call button, bringing the phone to her ear in lieu of typing out a reply.</p><p>“Eastwood.”</p><p>“It’s me. Thank you for arranging an appointment.”</p><p>“It was no problem. Is the time okay? I explained the circumstances without going into too much detail, the landlord is very understanding and is willing to be as flexible as possible for you.”</p><p>“The time is fine. Can you send me the address?” Stella kept her voice low, cognisant of the girl sleeping in the hospital bed.</p><p>“Is everything alright?” Eastwood asked, now noticing the quiet tone.</p><p>“Everything’s fine. She’s recovering well, should be discharged in the next couple of days. She’s asleep right now.” Stella explained as Olivia began to stir. “I have to go, thank you for your help.”</p><p>She listened to Eastwood bid her goodbye and then hung up as Olivia’s eyes landed on her. “How are you feeling sweetheart?”</p><p>Olivia shrugged. “I don’t like it here.”</p><p>“I don’t like hospitals either.” Stella admitted. To her, they were a constant reminder of pain, suffering and death. The bad times far outweighed the good in her experience. “They smell funny.”</p><p>Olivia let out a small laugh. “I’m happy that you’re still here.”</p><p>“I don’t have anywhere to be yet. I do have to leave for a little while soon, though.” Stella told her, brushing a hair from Olivia’s questioning eyes. “I need to go and look at a house for us to stay in until we can go back to London. And I need to go shopping to get some things for us. But I’ll be back to see you before you go to sleep.”</p><p>Olivia nodded in understanding and patted the bed next to her in a request for Stella to join her. The blonde shrugged off her jacket and climbed up onto the bed, letting out a deep breath as Olivia cuddled into her side. She pressed a soft kiss to the girl’s hair, marvelling at how trusting the girl was.</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>“What did you think of the house?” Eastwood asked as soon as he saw Stella walking towards her office.</p><p>Stella stopped and backtracked to lean against his office doorway. “It’s a nice place. The landlord was lovely. I move in tonight. It’s mostly furnished. It has the essentials. Olivia will have a bed but I’ll be on the couch. I went shopping earlier and found a few extras, some more essentials like a car seat for her and some things to make her feel more at home. Her grandmother is visiting tomorrow, she’s going to bring some of Olivia’s things with her.”</p><p>“That’s good.” Eastwood looked up at her and let out a sigh. “Stella… I know you’re in an incredibly difficult position, and I don’t want to pressure you-”</p><p>“But Burns wants to know when I’ll be back?” Stella finished, unsurprised by the question. She took a deep breath. “The Goodalls are spending the day with Olivia tomorrow so you’ve got me all day then. She’s being discharged the day after so I’ll have to be with her…”</p><p>Eastwood nodded and then a look of confusion passed over his face. “What’s going to happen to her while you’re here?”</p><p>“I’ve taken a few days off to try to help her settle in first. But after that the social workers are providing a babysitter. They said it’s not common practise but they understand this isn’t a normal situation. She’s met them a few times already and they’ll stay at the house to make sure she settles in and can continue recovering. It just means I can’t spend my nights on that cot in my office unless it’s extremely urgent.”</p><p>At Eastwood’s nod, Stella continued on her way to her office, intending to catch up on what she had missed.</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>It was almost five when Stella startled awake on the cot in her office. She groaned when she realised that she had been woken by Dani shuffling back from the bathroom. With a sigh she pulled herself into a sitting position and looked around. It was unlikely she would get anymore sleep and she had a long day ahead, likely fielding questions from Burns about her whereabouts for the past two days.</p><p>She stood and grabbed the blouse and skirt from their place hanging on the filing cabinet and moved towards the bathroom with her small bag of toiletries in hand.</p><p>When she returned to the office, the lights were on and McNally had arrived. Stella was grateful to see a large cup of coffee on her desk and smiled when she saw the post-it beside the cup.</p><p>She moved to the door of the office and took a headcount of who was present. Dani was already working, McNally was logging onto the computer and Mary was rummaging through a cabinet looking for something. Deciding now was as good a time as any and with Burns blissfully absent she moved towards the three other women, the sound of her heels causing them to look up.</p><p>“It’s good to have you back, Ma’am.” Dani gave her a warm smile as Stella motioned for McNally and Mary to join them.</p><p>“Thank you, Dani. Now what I am about to tell you three does not go any further. I’ve already spoken to Eastwood and when he inevitably appears to question me, Burns will be made aware too, but I don’t want the press getting a hold of this information if I can help it.” She was met with three concerned faces, all likely listing the possible scenarios. She took a deep breath and double checked that nobody else had arrived in the short time they had been gathered at Dani’s desk. “I’ve been given custody of Olivia Spector. Before her illness, Sally-Ann relinquished her parental rights to me. I’ve spent the last two days making arrangements, meeting with lawyers, social workers and letting Olivia get to know me.”</p><p>The three women in front of her were silent as she perched on the edge of Dani’s desk, her arms folded across her front. Dani was the first to speak up. “How is she?”</p><p>“She’s okay. Physically, she’s fine. The doctors just wanted to make sure there were no after-effects of the drugs and the shock. Mentally, only time will tell. Her grandparents are visiting today which is why I’m here. Tomorrow you lose me again because she’s being discharged. I’m not sure when exactly I’ll be back again but it could be a few days.”</p><p>Everyone nodded in understanding. “Eastwood has been keeping me updated and it seems like everything is going as well as it can here. Is there anything I should be aware of?”</p><p>“Paul Spector is awake but still in ICU. He seems to be suffering from some kind of amnesia though the doctors can’t find a cause. All brain scans have come back normal, leading us to believe he could be malingering.” McNally informed her, quickly finding a report and handing it over. “He has no recollection of the past decade, but does remember meeting Sally-Ann. When his solicitors were with him the other day he resorted to physical violence against himself when he became overwhelmed.”</p><p>Stella scanned the report, unsurprised that someone like Paul Spector would go so far as to feign amnesia in an attempt to avoid prison.</p><p>“We’re trying to find out when we can talk to him again but it sounds like it could be a while. Given his reaction to his lawyers, the doctors are reluctant to put him under more stress.” Dani added. “What we did find though, was a similar case in London that Eastwood said you mentioned. It sounds vaguely similar but it’s hard to say without further information whether or not it’s connected. If it is, then it’s within the time period that Spector has no issues recalling.”</p><p>Stella nodded. “I’ll phone my boss in London and see what he can do to help us. It may mean I have to send someone to London but if it helps us build an airtight case against him, it’s worth it.”</p><p>The sound of voices approaching put an end to the conversation and clutching her coffee, Stella made her way to the large board nearby, reading over the new notes that had been written since she last worked.</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>It was almost eight PM when Stella finally managed to get to the hospital after work. It had been an intense day but she had promised Olivia that she would visit. So here she was with Dani in tow, keeping her word, well aware that Olivia would be on the verge of sleep when she arrived.</p><p>She slowed when she reached the doorway, seeing Olivia curled up on her side and clutching a soft bear, she looked like she had been crying.</p><p>“Olivia?” Her voice was low, careful in case the girl was asleep. “Olivia, darling?”</p><p>Olivia’s head lifted slowly and Stella’s heart broke to see her pink, tear-stained cheeks and her watery eyes. “You came.”</p><p>“I promised I would.” Stella reminded her softly as she approached the bed. “I’m really sorry it’s so late. I thought I would be able to come by earlier. Are you okay, sweetheart?”</p><p>Olivia nodded and scooted over, silently asking Stella to hold her. Stella obliged and kicked off her heels before she moved onto the bed and took the young girl in her arms. “Why are you crying? Can I do anything to make it better?”</p><p>Olivia shook her head. “I got upset because I thought you weren’t coming. I thought you decided you didn’t want me.”</p><p>“Oh, my love.” Stella’s voice was barely a whisper, not trusting herself not to cry at the girl’s words. “I’m so sorry. I tried to get here earlier. I promise I won’t be this late again. And if I really can’t come early I’ll phone someone to let you know, okay? I’m really sorry.”</p><p>“It’s okay. You’re here now. I just wanted a hug.” Olivia told her. “I got a bit sad when my granny left, but she brought me a bag of my dollies and some of my clothes… When can we go home?”</p><p>“Tomorrow, sweetheart. I don’t have work so when your doctor says it’s okay, we can go to the house I told you about, and we can have whatever you want for dinner. How does that sound?”</p><p>“Can we watch a movie, too?”</p><p>“Of course.” Stella nodded, holding Olivia close. She saw Dani hovering awkwardly at the door and nodded for her to come in. “Olivia, this is my friend, Dani. Can you say hi?”</p><p>Olivia waved shyly. “Are you a fancy detective too?”</p><p>“Not quite.” Dani smiled kindly. “I am a police officer, though. I just haven’t been one long enough to be a detective never mind a big fancy one like Stella.”</p><p>Olivia laughed at the playful tone in Dani’s voice and the chuckles eventually turned into a tired yawn. “I’m really sleepy, but you don’t have to stay until I’m asleep this time. I have my new bear from Granny to cuddle. You can go back to work because if it’s all done soon, then it will be time to go home sooner.”</p><p>Stella smiled at her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Alright, darling. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Sleep well.”</p><p>By the time Stella had extracted herself from the bed and slipped back into her shoes, Olivia was snoring softly. Stella adjusted the covers on the bed before following Dani back to the car.</p><p>Once on their way back to the station, Dani looked across at Stella unsure whether her question would cross the line of what was acceptable. “Pardon me, Ma’am if this is crossing the line, but why did Sally-Ann give Olivia to you? You’re really good with her and it’s obvious she loves you, but it’s just a little… <em>random</em>?”</p><p>Stella chuckled at the mix of hesitation and confusion in Dani’s voice but it was a reasonable question. “Just after we first brought Paul Spector in for questioning, I was rushed to hospital in the middle of the night. Sally-Ann was covering a shift on the ward I was admitted to. When she realised why I was there, we started talking, and she found out it was my fifth miscarriage. I forgot about the conversation almost completely, but it stayed with her. In an interview with a social worker, when asked why <em>me</em>, she brought up that night, the fact that in her eyes, I deserved to have more children than just my daughter.”</p><p>Dani looked over at her, her eyes full of sympathy but no pity. “I’m sorry. I had no idea you were pregnant.”</p><p>“I didn’t tell anyone. My boss at the Met knew, and Professor Reed-Smith figured it out, but that was all. I hadn’t even told my kids yet.”</p><p>“You have kids?”</p><p>“Two girls. One of twenty three and the little one is fourteen months.”</p><p>“You don’t look old enough to have a twenty three year old.” Dani slapped a hand across her mouth as soon as the words were out. “I’m sorry, Ma’am. That was out of line.”</p><p>“It’s okay. I’m not, really.” Stella laughed and looked at the younger woman as she stopped at a red light. “I was fifteen.”</p><p>Dani’s shocked face brought another soft laugh from Stella. “Do you ever think about having kids, Dani?”</p><p>“I’m gay, Ma’am.”</p><p>“I know.” Stella assured her gently. “But there are other ways.”</p><p>“Maybe one day. But I've never thought too hard about it. I always just assumed that it wouldn’t be doable. I can’t afford the treatment and while I’m open to adoption, it’s a hard process and I’m not sure if I could take all the checks and the false hope and then the fear of the baby’s parents changing their minds and taking it back.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say this to many people, but your loyalty and friendship means a lot to me…” Stella pulled into the police station but made no move to exit the car. “I have a decent sum of money stored in a savings account from when my father died and then a little more from when my mother died. I haven’t touched it in at least a decade. But… if you ever wanted treatment, there’s more than enough there to help you and still leave me with more than I know what to do with.”</p><p>Dani’s eyes went wide and she looked at Stella in shock. “Why- What? I mean- I could never ask that of you. Why would you do that? You have three children to support.”</p><p>“And I have more than enough money to continue to support them without even looking at that bank account.” Stella assured her. “As for the why… like I mentioned previously, I’ve had a lot of trouble with my own fertility. I know how hard it is to want something and have it just out of reach, whatever the reason. So if I can help you with that, then I'd like to. You haven’t asked me for anything.”</p><p>Dani simply stared after Stella as the blonde made for the station entrance, leaving Dani in the car with the keys.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay well I've decided I don't like this chapter very much so I will not be surprised if everyone else hates it too!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so I decided that I actually didn't hate the whole of chapter 3 just a little bit at the end. I've left it in for now until I have a better idea of where I'm taking this story but I may go back and change it later</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stella felt her stomach in knots as she helped Olivia into her jacket. In minutes they would be free of the hospital’s confines and Olivia’s care would be her sole responsibility. She wasn’t worried about her parenting ability as such, more how on earth she was going to handle the difficult questions the girl was sure to ask, the havoc that recent events had wreaked on her mental state. All she wanted was to provide the girl with a stable and loving home, but sometimes that wasn’t quite enough.</p><p>With a tight smile and a grateful nod, Stella bid goodbye to the doctor and shouldered Olivia’s bag, taking her small hand in her own.</p><p>They walked in silence to the elevator and as the doors closed behind them, Stella could feel Olivia almost bursting to ask her something.</p><p>“What is it, sweetheart?”</p><p>Olivia sighed and looked up at Stella. “What’s happened to my mummy?”</p><p>Stella felt her heart plummet to her stomach before she blew out a long breath and turned to crouch in front of Olivia. “Your mummy is very sick, darling. She can’t take care of herself right now, so she’s in a hospital being looked after by special doctors.”</p><p>Olivia seemed to mull over the question for a few moments before she made eye contact again. “Do I have to go back with her?”</p><p>Stella shook her head. “It’s complicated, but for now the answer is no.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Stella sighed, trying to decide how to best explain the situation to such a young child. “Do you know what a lawyer is?”</p><p>Olivia shook her head.</p><p>“A lawyer is a person who goes to court, to fight for something to be made official. Before your mummy got sick, she asked her lawyer to make it official that if something happened to her, you could come and live with me.” Olivia seemed to be following so Stella continued. “If in the future, your mummy gets better, and the doctors don’t think she’s sick anymore, she can ask a lawyer if she can see you.”</p><p>“What does that mean? Would I have to live with her?”</p><p>“Not right away.” Stella sighed again, already feeling out of her depths. “Because it can take a long time to get better. Your mummy would have to ask a lawyer if she can visit you first.</p><p>“To begin with, it would be one visit every once in a while, maybe as often as every week. And either me or somebody like Heather would be there to make sure you’re okay. Then after that, she can ask a lawyer to make it so that you could spend a weekend or something with her, without me or Heather. From there she can ask that you stay with her half of the time and me the other half. After that she could ask the lawyers if you could live with her all the time.”</p><p>Olivia’s eyes filled with tears and she gripped Stella’s hand tightly as she looked into the blue eyes. “But I don’t want to live with her again! She made me sick and I was scared. And now Liam is gone because she made him sick, too!”</p><p>Stella pulled the small girl into her arms and enveloped her in a tight and comforting hug. “It’s okay, my love. You don’t have to live with her if you don’t want to. It might take a very long time for your mummy to get better, or she might never get better. But it doesn’t matter what happens in the future, because right now, you’re going to come home with me. We’re going to go to the house I found for us to live in, I can show you your new bedroom, and then how does it sound if we have some pizza for dinner and we can have a movie night?”</p><p>Olivia beamed at the blonde and nodded eagerly, all thoughts of her mother gone for the time being. Stella sighed in relief and pushed herself into a standing position again.</p><p>The car ride home was full of conversation about which movie to watch and which toppings they did and didn’t like on pizza. By the time they reached the house, Stella was confident that all thoughts of Sally-Ann had been banished from Olivia’s mind, at least for now. The girl’s first night home would be difficult. It wasn’t unusual to be unsettled in a new environment, regardless of everything Olivia had been through, and Stella had resigned herself to the upcoming sleepless nights. Even if Olivia was able to sleep through the night, Stella wasn’t sure she would be able to take her eyes off of the girl.</p><p>After a tour of the house and emptying Olivia’s bag into her bedroom, the two found themselves curled up on the couch under a fleecy blanket with Olivia’s teddy. An almost-finished pizza lay in the box on the coffee table and Tangled played on the TV.</p><p>Olivia was tucked into Stella’s side, under her protective arm with her head resting on Stella’s chest. Her deep breathing told Stella that the girl was asleep and for now she would allow it. She was still recovering from a traumatic ordeal and needed all the rest she could get.</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>Nearing the end of the movie, Olivia had migrated into Stella’s lap, her head tucked under the blonde’s chin. Stella kept her arm around the girl, hoping to provide some sense of safety. The vibrating of her phone on the arm of the couch tore her from her thoughts and she smiled when she saw Matt Eastwood’s caller ID. She hit the decline button and opened up their messages instead.</p><p>
  <em>Can’t talk, Liv’s asleep on me. What’s up?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I just wanted to check in, see how the day went. How are you?</em>
</p><p>Stella was surprised at the smile she felt creeping up on her at Eastwood’s reply. She suppressed it as she typed out a response, filling him in on her day.</p><p>It wasn’t long before her phone buzzed with another message.</p><p><em>I’m glad she’s resting. But how are </em>you<em>? Don’t think I didn’t notice you dodged the question</em></p><p>It was a good question. She’d spent every waking moment of the day focusing on Olivia and her comfort and it was only now that Stella realised she was exhausted. It hadn’t been a physically tiring day, but the mental capacity it had taken to keep Olivia comfortable and satisfied was more than she’d expected. With a sigh, she awkwardly shifted her phone in order to use both hands to type without letting go of the little girl. She saw no point in being dishonest with Eastwood, he’d either see right through her or he’d call her later to get the truth out of her. She quickly typed out a reply, telling him the truth and wondering what he would find to say to her in return.</p><p>
  <em>Both of you get some rest. Don’t worry about work and let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. Anything at all. </em>
</p><p>It wasn’t entirely unexpected. He’d been supportive since she’d informed him that Olivia was now hers, but she hadn’t anticipated the way a warmth filled her at his words.</p><p>
  <em>Thank you Matt. I’ll let you know. My work phone will be off but my private will remain on through the night. Contact me if there are any developments. </em>
</p><p>She rolled her eyes at the ‘<em>Absolutely not Stella, you’re on leave.</em>’ she received in response but simply thanked him again before dropping the phone down onto the cushion.</p><p>With a little effort, Stella managed to heave herself to her feet without jostling Olivia too much. The little girl stirred as they were halfway up the stairs and Stella soothed her gently.</p><p>“It’s okay. It’s bedtime, go back to sleep my love.”</p><p>Olivia lifted her head as Stella pushed opened the door to the bedroom. “Will you stay with me?”</p><p>The blonde nodded as she set Olivia down on the bed. “Of course. Let’s get ready for bed now that you’re awake.”</p><p>Olivia nodded and moved across the room to the drawers which now held her pyjamas, picking out her favourites before she moved through to the bathroom to find Stella.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Stella asked from the toilet, watching as Olivia quietly changed her clothes by the bath.</p><p>The girl nodded again. “I don’t want to be on my own.”</p><p>Stella’s heart ached at the small voice and she was quick to assure her that she didn’t have to be alone yet. She lifted Olivia up onto the step by the sink and they brushed their teeth together before she ran a brush through the girl’s hair.</p><p>Back in the bedroom they got comfortable, crammed into the bed that was slightly too small for both of them.</p><p>“Do you want a story?”</p><p>Olivia shook her head. “I just want a cuddle. Do you promise you’ll stay?”</p><p>“I promise, darling.” Stella whispered softly as Olivia curled into her with the duvet pulled up to her chin.</p><p>She took in the silence as Olivia fell asleep. It was much earlier than she usually went to bed, but her eyelids felt heavy and soon, Stella found herself drifting off to sleep, her body curled protectively around the little girl.</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>Stella sat up at the sound of soft sniffles. She looked around, searching for the source of the noise. The room was dark save for the soft glow coming from a small night light plugged in on the other side of the room. It wasn’t long before she found Olivia sitting cross-legged on the floor clutching her new teddy bear to her chest and staring at nothing in particular.</p><p>“Olivia?” Stella’s voice was soft and barely a whisper but Olivia jumped anyway. “What’s wrong, darling?”</p><p>Olivia took a deep shuddering breath as she turned to look up at the blonde. “I’m sad.”</p><p>Stella climbed out of bed and moved onto the floor, pulling the little girl into her lap. Olivia tucked herself against Stella’s chest as she rocked from side to side, gently soothing her.</p><p>“It’s okay to be sad sometimes. It’s even okay to be sad all the time when something upsetting has happened. Because eventually, it will get better. But it’s okay if that isn’t straight away.” Stella assured her, trying to force her tired brain to say something coherent and understandable to an eight year old. “Do you want to tell me what made you sad tonight?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Olivia sniffed. “I had a dream but I don’t remember what it was about. I woke up sad.”</p><p>“That’s okay. Sometimes I have dreams that make me sad, too. And I don’t always remember them.” Stella let a quiet fall over them, pressing her cheek to Olivia’s hair. They stayed that way until the sniffles subsided and she pulled back to look at Olivia’s tear-stained face. “What can I do to help you?”</p><p>Olivia stared at her and Stella realised it was a question she wasn’t used to being asked. She had started doing it when Sophie was little. As a single teen mother, she had struggled with knowing what her daughter needed from her until one day it had occurred to her to ask. Once Sophie was old enough to comprehend the meaning, it had been a godsend, and in the end Stella had managed to raise her to never shy away from telling people how they could help her and not to be afraid to ask for what she needed. It worked well and as her daughter grew, their communication had been strong. Both she and Sophie had started doing the same with Leigh already, despite her young age, encouraging her to voice her needs.</p><p>“It’s okay.” Stella soothed Olivia. “You can tell me what you need. I will always do my best to help you. If I can’t do exactly what you ask, I’ll find another way. Don’t ever be scared to ask for help my love.”</p><p>Olivia’s eyes filled with tears again. “My head feels too busy.”</p><p>“Okay.” Stella nodded. “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to think about something else?”</p><p>“Something else.”</p><p>“Okay. Why don’t we sit somewhere a little bit more comfy than the floor? Maybe the bed or the couch?”</p><p>Olivia nodded and clambered to her feet, taking Stella’s hand and leading her back to the bed. They settled back against the pillows with Olivia resting against Stella’s front and the duvet pulled up over them both.</p><p>“Do you want me to tell you a story?”</p><p>Olivia shook her head and hesitated for a moment. “Can you tell me about your little girls?”</p><p>“Of course.” Stella smiled and reached for her phone on the nightstand. “Sophie is twenty three and she’s studying to be a lawyer right now. Her favourite colour is blue and she loves cats. She has blonde hair and blue eyes like me, she’s just a little bit taller than me when I don’t have my shoes on. She lives with a few of her friends most of the time, but she still comes home to visit a lot. She really likes to sing and she’s a very good dancer-”</p><p>“She can dance?” Olivia’s face lit up and she turned to look up at Stella. “Can she teach me?”</p><p>Stella smiled at the pure excitement in Olivia’s eyes. “I’m sure she would love to. Do you like dancing?”</p><p>“I always wanted to learn and go to classes but mummy and daddy said we didn’t have enough money because it was too expensive.” Olivia sighed. “Would it cost too much money for Sophie to teach me?”</p><p>“It wouldn’t cost any money for Sophie to teach you, darling. How about I call her tomorrow to ask?”</p><p>Olivia nodded with a smile. “Can you keep telling me about them now?”</p><p>“Where was I? Dancing. She’s a very good dancer and she likes art, too. She’s very smart and when she has times she likes to go for walks in the park with her little sister. Sometimes I go, too…” Stella trailed off when she felt Olivia deflate a little bit. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Do you think it would be okay if we went to the gardens before we go to London? It’s my favourite.”</p><p>“Of course we can.” Stella nodded. “I know it’s not quite the same, but there are lots of lovely parks in London. And I’m sure that Sophie would love to have you join her and Leigh on their walks when you’re ready.”</p><p>Olivia smiled in response and urged her to continue where she left off.</p><p>“I’m not sure what else to say about Sophie. Leigh is still very little. She’s just over a year old. She can walk and tries to run a little bit, but she still needs help on uneven ground. She has blonde hair and blue eyes too. Her favourite animal I think is a cat, but she seems to love all animals. She loves playing on the swings in the park and when she gets excited about anything she squeals and smiles really brightly. She really likes to show people things, so she likes taking you by your hand and dragging you around the house to point at everything she likes. It’s funny. She enjoys watching a little bit of TV and has some dollies she plays with sometimes. She gets very messy when she plays with paint and things like that.”</p><p>“Can I teach her things when we go to London? I don’t know what yet though.”</p><p>“I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Stella smiled and nodded again as an idea popped into her head. “How would you like to see them both on the laptop before we go to London? We can video call with them and you can talk so that you know them before we get home?”</p><p>Olivia nodded excitedly. “Can we do it tomorrow?”</p><p>“I’m not sure if they’ll be able to. I’ll phone Sophie in the morning and find out when she has enough time. You can ask her if she’ll teach you to dance if you’d like? Or I can ask her for you.”</p><p>Olivia mulled it over and gave a shrug before asking what Stella’s house was like. Before Stella gave her answer, she settled them both lying under the duvet, hoping to lull the girl back to sleep.</p><p>It worked. In no time, Olivia’s breathing evened out and Stella gave a soft sigh, willing herself to fall asleep too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please let me know what you thought, even if you hated it, I'd like to know!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morning had come sooner than Stella would have liked. Olivia had slept soundly for the rest of the night, wrapped up in her arms and seemingly peaceful. But Stella had stayed awake for hours, her mind spinning with ways in which she could provide the best care for Olivia moving forwards.</p><p>She knew therapy was a must but it would take time to find a suitable therapist that Olivia felt comfortable with. There was her schooling to think about, too. The last thing she wanted was to traumatise her even more by subjecting her to how unkind children could be when someone was different. They may know nothing about the Belfast Strangler, but they’d notice her accent immediately. Maybe she could find a tutor of some kind to provide home schooling? She would have to look into her options more extensively when she had a spare hour.</p><p>Olivia’s excitement over dancing last night had already planted the thought of finding some dance classes for her to attend. Sophie had loved it as she grew up and while she hadn’t anticipated being thrown back into the world of costumes and dance recitals just yet, Stella knew it was something Olivia may not only enjoy, but be able to use as an escape.</p><p>She’d already fired off a message to Matt asking about the case, and another to Sophie asking for a phone call when she had a moment. She’d immediately gotten a panicked text back but was quick to reassure her that nothing was wrong.</p><p>Sophie was due to call around ten in between dropping Leigh off at her childminder’s house and heading to her lecture at eleven. It would only be a quick call to get her up to speed before she would suggest that they FaceTime with Olivia and Leigh again in the afternoon.</p><p>Stella had been apprehensive about how her eldest daughter would react to the news that she was coming home from Belfast with another child. She didn’t think the reaction would be bad, but it was a lot to take in, especially when she was currently already looking after one sibling. But true to her loving nature, Sophie had simply asked what she could to do make Olivia’s arrival in London easier, insisting that she start to redecorate the guest room in Stella’s house to make it warmer and more child friendly.</p><p>When the phone rang, Olivia was curled up on the couch watching Tangled again, hoping to stay awake through until the end this time. Stella’s eyes fell on the girl from her place in the small kitchen as she brough her phone to her ear.</p><p>“Hi darling. How are you?”</p><p>
  <em>“Hi mum! I’m good thanks, Leigh is absolutely fine too, so don’t worry. How are you? Is Olivia okay?”</em>
</p><p>Stella smiled at her daughter’s cheery voice. “Olivia is okay, she only woke up once last night and then slept through until this morning. I, on the other hand, am on my fourth cup of coffee and seriously considering an afternoon nap.”</p><p><em>“Take care of yourself, mum. You’re no use to Olivia if you run yourself into the ground.”</em> Sophie warned. “<em>Your message scared me this morning, I thought something had happened?”</em></p><p>“No. Sorry. I just wanted to catch you before your classes. I was thinking that it might be good to FaceTime with Leigh and Olivia sometime soon. Introduce her to you both and let her talk to you before I bring her home. I know Leigh won’t get it but it might help Liv if she feels like she knows you both.”</p><p><em>“Of course!”</em> Leigh exclaimed. <em>“That’s actually a really good idea. Do you think it would be okay to ask if there’s anything she wants in her room or is it too soon?”</em></p><p>“I’m not sure, I’ll let you know later. She flits between excitement at the move and just being so sad. I know it’s normal and that there’s more to come, but I wish there was more I could do to help her.” Stella sighed, sending a smile across the room when Olivia looked up at her.</p><p><em>“You </em>are<em> helping her. You’re giving her stability and safety. I know you know it’ll be a long process, but don’t sell yourself short. You’re a really good mum.”</em></p><p>Stella felt her eyes sting with tears at her daughter’s words. The seed of doubt had been planted before Sophie had even been born. People loved to tell young mothers that they had no business having babies, that their age guaranteed they would fail at parenting. Ever since, it had been a niggling doubt in the back of her mind that there was always something she wasn’t doing right, something more she could be doing to support her children. People judged her for her intense studies when Sophie was little, and then judged her more for her career path. And then judged even further when she fell pregnant in her mid to late thirties without a husband in sight. Nobody dared to say it to her face anymore, but she knew the rumours and the gossip that spread through her offices like wildfire. Little did they know the heartbreak she’d faced time and time again before Leigh had been born. She couldn’t help but wonder what they would say now when they found out about Olivia. Nothing she cared to think about right now.</p><p>
  <em>“Mum!”</em>
</p><p>Stella jumped and snapped out of her thoughts. “Sorry, darling.”</p><p>
  <em>“Are you okay?”</em>
</p><p>“I’m fine. Just fucking exhausted. But that means a lot, thank you.”</p><p>
  <em>“I mean it. You’ve given me more than I could ask for, and I know you’ll do the same for Leigh and Olivia, too.”</em>
</p><p>“I just want you all to be happy and healthy.”</p><p>
  <em>“We are.”</em>
</p><p>“I’m glad.” Stella smiled despite the fact that Sophie couldn’t see her. “Okay, I’ll let you go now. Text me later and let me know what time you want to chat. We have absolutely nothing planned so we can work around you guys.”</p><p>Sophie agreed and gave her mother a cheery goodbye before hanging up. Stella let her phone slide into her pocket and decided against a fifth cup of coffee. With a yawn, she instead chose to join Olivia on the couch.</p><p>“Do you want to go for a nap?” Stella raised an eyebrow at the girl’s suggestion, surprised that she didn’t just want to cuddle up and watch another movie. Olivia noticed and shrugged. “Can I play with your hair until you fall asleep? It always helps me when I’m sleepy.”</p><p>Stella’s heart melted at Olivia’s words and she lay down on the comfortable cushions, smiling as Olivia shuffled around to sit by her head. She felt small hands releasing her hair from the elastic that held it back and let out a sigh when Olivia’s fingers started to trail through the blonde curls. Part of her was amazed at how easy their time out of the hospital had been, but the other part knew it was likely the calm before the storm. In the space of a few short weeks Olivia had been through more than any adult should have to endure and it was only natural that it would have a huge impact on her.</p><p>She couldn’t remember the last time she’d let someone play with her hair. Olivia was surprisingly gentle, carefully picking apart every tangle she came across, and Stella found herself drifting off to sleep in no time.</p><p>Stella woke what felt like hours later and looked around, bolting upright when Olivia was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>“Olivia?” Nothing. “Olivia!”</p><p>Stella jumped up from the couch, about to head for the stairs.</p><p>“Stella?”</p><p>Stella nearly collapsed in relief at Olivia’s small voice. She turned towards the kitchen to see the girl carefully balancing a full mug in both hands.</p><p>“What are you doing darling?” Stella asked as she met Olivia back at the couch and took the mug from her.</p><p>“I made you coffee.” Olivia announced. “I saw you drinking a lot of it earlier.”</p><p>“We talked yesterday about how I don’t want you to use the kettle without me, sweetheart.” Stella told her. It was one of the few ground rules she’d laid out when they’d returned home and it was purely for Olivia’s safety.</p><p>“I didn’t!” Olivia beamed. “I ran the tap until it was too hot to put my hand under.”</p><p>“You didn’t burn yourself, did you?” Stella asked, placing the cold cup aside to check Olivia’s hands.</p><p>The girl shook her head. “No, I just waited until it got a little bit stingy and then I stopped and made the coffee. Are you going to drink it?”</p><p>Stella steeled herself for what looked to be a very cold, very strong sip of coffee. The mug was cold in her hands and there wasn’t a drop of milk to be seen. Sure enough she had to fight not to outwardly grimace as the coffee assaulted her tastebuds. It was a far cry from her usual order but Olivia was staring at her hopefully.</p><p>“It’s perfect, sweetheart.” Stella smiled and set the cup down. “Thank you.”</p><p>“I used to make my mummy tea when she was in bed sometimes. When she was sad it made her happy.”</p><p>Stella once again felt her heart clench in sadness for the girl who would soon be her daughter. She wondered just how much her relationship with her mother had changed since the day Paul Spector had come in to identify himself. Here she was at eight years old, trying her best to take care of her parental figure. Between the nap, playing with her hair and the coffee, Stella was sure that at some point Olivia had developed an intense need to take care of Sally-Ann.</p><p>“Did you have to take care of mummy a lot?”</p><p>Olivia thought for a moment as she climbed up onto the couch to sit beside Stella. “Not all the time.”</p><p>“Just in the last little while?” Stella prompted.</p><p>Olivia nodded. “Just after we had to stop going to school. She was sad. She liked tea so I made her some cups to make her feel better.”</p><p>“I bet she liked that a lot.” Stella smiled softly. “What did mummy do when she was sad?”</p><p>“She took a lot of naps. She would tell me and Liam that we could watch the telly or play in our rooms for as long as we wanted.”</p><p>“And that’s when you would make her a cup of tea?”</p><p>Olivia nodded and watched as Stella slid off of the couch and turned to crouch in front of her, taking her hands.</p><p>“You’re such a kind girl, Olivia.” Stella said, taking a deep breath. “But I want to promise you that I’m not sad like your mummy was, okay? If you want to do things like play with my hair and make me coffees, you can. But you don’t have to try to make me feel better. I might get a little tired from time to time, but not sad, okay? I promise you don’t have to worry about me.”</p><p>Stella could see the emotion in Olivia’s eyes, even if the girl had no idea what those feelings were, it was obvious they were intense. “I promise, okay? Do you understand, darling?”</p><p>Olivia nodded and Stella moved forward to pull her into a comforting hug. She was unsurprised when the dam broke and Olivia let out a tiny sob against her chest.</p><p>The next while was spent doing nothing other than trying her best to comfort her little girl. She wanted nothing more than to take all of the pain and hurt away but that was impossible.</p><p>When Olivia finally sat up out of the embrace, Stella swiped her thumbs under her teary blue eyes. “It’s okay to feel upset. You don’t have to hide it from anyone, okay? Especially not me. It’s my job to take care of you and to be there for you when you need a cuddle.”</p><p>Olivia leaned in for another hug and Stella happily welcomed it. When they parted she glanced at the clock and realised that they were due to FaceTime Sophie and Leigh soon.</p><p>“Do you still want to talk to Sophie and Leigh tonight? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. We can ask tomorrow.”</p><p>Olivia shook her head. “I want to do it today.”</p><p>“Okay, let’s go wash your face. You have a little red nose. Like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” Stella smiled, tapping the end of the girl’s nose gently.</p><p>Olivia laughed. “It’s not Christmas time yet!”</p><p>“No, it isn’t. So let’s go get ready.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stella was anxious as she sat down on the couch. Olivia was already waiting excitedly as she placed the laptop on the coffee table and opened the lid. She had tried telling herself there was no reason for her anxiety, but when she’d taken a step back she realised that wasn’t true. It was perfectly reasonable to be nervous about Olivia’s first interaction with her other two children. She was praying to a god she didn’t believe in that the imminent call went smoothly.</p><p>It was hard to think of what exactly could go wrong. Sophie was out of the house and old enough that she wouldn’t get jealous over the attention Olivia needed. Leigh was still too young to understand any of it, but she was worried that upon her return home, the toddler would react badly. She’d been worried as it was that the extended time away meant that her baby would want Sophie more than her. Now with her time being split, she worried the little one would feel even more neglected.</p><p>When she’d voiced her fears to Sophie, the girl had scoffed and informed her that Leigh was missing her. They watched videos of Stella with her at the park whenever Leigh got sad. That fact in turn made Stella sad at the thought of her baby missing her.</p><p>Before she could fall any further into her thoughts, Stella was snapped out of it by the sound of the incoming video call on her laptop. Olivia looked at her with big eyes as she reached over and accepted the call, pulling the girl into her lap.</p><p>“Hi!” Stella beamed, her eyes sparkling at the sight of her girls. “It’s so good to see you both!”</p><p>“It’s good to see you, too mum!” Sophie exclaimed as she helped Leigh climb into her lap. At the sight of her mother, the toddler squealed and clapped excitedly.</p><p>“Hi, my darling!” Stella smiled, waving at the girl through the laptop. “Okay so I think it’s about time you three all meet each other properly.”</p><p>Olivia was silent in Stella’s lap, clinging to the hand that was resting around her waist. She kept her eyes glued to the laptop screen, looking between the two girls staring back at her.</p><p>“Olivia, this is my daughter, Sophie. And my little girl, Leigh.” Stella explained, pointing each of them out as she did. “Soph, this is Olivia.”</p><p>“Hi, Olivia!” Sophie smiled kindly. “Mum has told me a lot about you already. I hear you like cats, too?”</p><p>Stella sighed in relief when Olivia nodded happily and spoke up. “My granny’s cat had kittens! I got to take one home with me and I called her Belle. But then she had to go away and it made me sad. Do you have a cat?”</p><p>“I don’t right now but I would really love to get one soon!”</p><p>Stella was thankful for Sophie’s upbeat tone. She had always been fantastic with children and it was amazing to see the way Olivia responded to her. She listened, stroking Olivia’s hair as the two talked about dancing and Olivia timidly asked if Sophie would help her learn.</p><p>“Of course! I’d love to! Once you get here, we can make it happen. Some of my friends are good dancers, and I’m sure they’d love to help if you wanted?”</p><p>Olivia nodded and turned to Stella with excitement in her eyes. “Will Leigh be able to dance with us?”</p><p>Sophie let out a small chuckle. “Not just yet, she’s still learning how to walk properly so it’ll be a while before she can dance. But I’m sure when she’s older you’ll be good enough to teach her how!”</p><p>“Mummy can I?” Olivia asked, looking back at Stella again.</p><p>Stella froze and out of the corner of her eye she saw Sophie clasp a hand over her mouth. Before her mind could move past the unintentional title, she nodded. That was answer enough for Olivia and she began talking animatedly about what kind of dance moves Sophie would be able to teach her so she could pass them on to Leigh.</p><p>“Olivia, darling why don’t you go get some paper from upstairs and you can draw some pictures to give to Sophie and Leigh when we get back?” Stella suggested, still shaken by Olivia calling her mummy.</p><p>With the girl safely out of ear shot, Sophie was the first to break the heavy silence. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Stella ran a hand down her face before shoving it into her hair to let her head rest on it, her elbow planted on her knee. “She’s never done that before. I don’t think she even noticed she said it. But I don’t know what to do if she does it again…” She looked over her shoulder and lowered her voice. “As soon as the adoption process is completed I <em>will</em> be her mother, but the problem with that is she already has one… no matter what happened, she was raised by her biological mother for eight years. I can’t just come into her life and expect her to start calling me ‘mum’ and accept that without issue.”</p><p>“Stop.” Sophie said gently, shifting Leigh in her lap so Stella could see her properly. “You’re getting ahead of yourself. You already said she likely didn’t even notice what she said. All that’s happened is she will have made the connection between your actions in caring for her and the way her mother used to care for her. It means she trusts you. Don’t worry about it too much. Or if that’s not an option, speak to someone from social services for advice.”</p><p>Stella nodded. She knew Sophie was right but it had thrown her for a loop.</p><p>“When do you go back to work?”</p><p>The question drew a sigh from the detective. “Unfortunately tomorrow. I tried to ask for longer but I either go back or they take me off the case. Social services are providing a babysitter Olivia already knows to come to stay with her for the day.”</p><p>They chatted for a while longer, laughing when Leigh lost interest and toddled out of view to find her toys. When Olivia returned they bid goodbye to Sophie with the promise that they would see each other again soon.</p><p>The dancing was all Olivia could talk about for the rest of the evening. After dinner she had put on her best ballet inspired routine for Stella to watch.</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>“You look rough.” Eastwood commented as Stella arrived just before eight in the morning.</p><p>“Thanks.” Stella grumbled, dumping her bag and briefcase on her desk.</p><p>“Everything okay?”</p><p>Stella groaned and dropped into her seat. She ran a hand over her face before looking up at her colleague. “Liv was up most of the night last night. She asked for a drink before she brushed her teeth so I offered her milk or water and she hit the roof. I only realised about four o’clock this morning that Sally-Ann gave her and Liam a spiked glass of milk before bed before her attempts. The offer of it triggered a stream of nightmares.”</p><p>“Is she okay?” Eastwood asked, closing the door and moving in further. “Are <em>you</em>?”</p><p>Stella nodded. “Last I heard she fell asleep just after I left but I’m sure it was more exhaustion than because she wanted to.”</p><p>“And you?”</p><p>“I’ll be fine. It’s not the first sleepless night I’ve had since I’ve been here.”</p><p>“Lucky for you then, I don’t come empty handed.”</p><p>Eastwood produced a large steaming cup of coffee and Stella gasped and reached for it. “I love you.”</p><p>The man raised an eyebrow as Stella took a sip and nearly moaned. “That’s all it takes?”</p><p>Stella rolled her eyes and nodded to the file on her desk, the real reason for their early morning meeting. “What have I missed?”</p><p>Eastwood spent the better part of an hour going into detail on what Anderson and Dani had found in London and the various reports regarding Spector’s mental capacity.</p><p>“We’d like to interview him again today to go over the incidents in London. They take place out with the supposed gap in his memory so he has no reason not to answer the questions.”</p><p>Stella knew what was coming next and nodded when Eastwood reluctantly informed her that she would be the one conducting the interview.</p><p>With Stella now caught up on the case, they chatted for a few moments before the noise of the team starting their day interrupted them. They ended their conversation with accepting smiles and Eastwood took his leave.</p><p>Alone in her office once more, Stella indulged herself in a long yawn, cradling the hot mug of coffee as she began rereading the file in front of her in preparation for her meeting with Spector.</p><p>The man had no idea that she had custody of his daughter. She wasn’t sure if he even knew of Sally-Ann’s actions. But she supposed that he must know that his son had died, which would have segued over to the topic of Sally-Ann. As far as he knew, Olivia was in care. She was being fostered while the adoption was being processed. She only hoped she could keep her expressions neutral if he brought up the little girl.</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>Stella’s foot bounced under her desk. She was full of nervous energy, despite feeling as confident as was possible about the upcoming interview. She’d already done it once before, she was capable of doing it again.</p><p>Without another word she got up and moved towards the singular bathroom at the end of the hall. It was rarely used, most of the officers preferred the recently renovated ones nearer the breakroom, but this one provided a privacy that was hard to come by.</p><p>She didn’t notice the figure exiting until they collided and her head snapped up as an apology left her lips. She looked up to find Eastwood staring down at her in concern. She could hear the ‘<em>are you okay</em>?’ before he said it and she was quick to silence him by wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling him into a hard kiss.</p><p>His hands were on her hips when they parted, his eyes confused as she searched them.</p><p>“If you want to stop just say so.” Stella breathed. She gave him a moment to decide and was pleasantly surprised when he flicked the lock on the door. He pushed her up against the wall as their lips crashed together again.</p><p>It was fast and hard and Stella was sure she’d have bruises on her thigh where Eastwood had gripped it over his hip. On unsteady legs she righted her clothes and moved to the mirror to fix her hair and makeup.</p><p>She caught Eastwood’s eye in the mirror as she ran a hand through her curls. “I have a bad feeling about this. I’m just not sure why.”</p><p>“You don’t have to do this.”</p><p>“I do.” Stella sighed. “We won’t get anywhere if I don’t.”</p><p>“Just be careful.”</p><p>The sincerity in Eastwood’s voice stopped Stella in her tracks on the way to the door. There was no tone of patronisation, or anything to suggest he thought her incapable, only genuine concern. She offered him a nod before she disappeared, knowing he’d be monitoring the interview.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a quick chapter I rattled out today instead of writing more reports... excuse it if it's crappy! There's still more to come but due to the amount of work I've got I'm not sure when it'll be!</p><p>TW for mention and vague description of Stella's attack</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stella couldn’t force herself to focus on any one thing. Her vision was blurred and her mind was spinning. She knew she was in an ambulance, strapped onto a stretcher with a paramedic hovering at her head. Dani was around somewhere, too. What she didn’t know was exactly how she had gotten there. She remembered the basics – she had been attacked by Spector, he’d hit her and then the next thing she remembered she was on the floor with Dani and Tom Anderson crouched over her.</p><p>She vaguely remembered Matt Eastwood walking next to her as they wheeled her outside, assuring her that he would stop by as soon as he could and not to worry about anything.</p><p>Stella gasped, her eyes darting around as she tried to locate Dani in the small space.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” It was the paramedic’s voice but Stella answered anyway.</p><p>“Olivia…”</p><p>She almost jumped out of her skin at the feeling of a gentle hand coming to rest on her knee. She relaxed when she saw Dani leaning in so she could see her.</p><p>“DCI Eastwood said he would contact social services for you, ma’am and let them know what’s happened. She’ll be safe and taken care of.”</p><p>“She’ll be scared.”</p><p>Dani sighed softly. “If you want, once you’ve been treated we can bring her to see you?”</p><p>Stella shook her head and then winced at the pain the action caused. “That’ll scare her more. What if I can’t go home tonight?”</p><p>“We’ll figure something out. But she’s okay for now. If it comes to it, I can stay with her.”</p><p>Stella gave a tiny nod as the paramedic announced they weren’t far from the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>~X~</p><p> </p><p>Stella sighed as she lay in the hospital bed alone. Dani had reluctantly gone home at Stella’s request. Her mind was still spinning, but not in the way it had been before. Now, it was filled with thoughts of Olivia and how she was going to explain what had happened, both to her and to Sophie.</p><p>Eastwood had been in touch to say that Olivia’s grandmother had offered to take her for the night, dressing it up as a sleepover at Granny’s house. At some point before they were reunited Mrs Goodall would explain to Olivia that Stella was okay, but she had been hurt so she had some bruises on her face. It might look a bit scary, but everything was going to be fine. Before she went to collect Olivia, the older woman was going to stop by the hospital to talk to Stella.</p><p>So all Stella had left to do now was wait. Wait for Mrs Goodall, then for Eastwood, and then for the doctor to decide when she would be allowed to go home. They’d already admitted her and found her a hospital gown for the night, so she knew it wouldn’t be until at least the next morning, but that didn’t mean she liked it. If all she was going to do here was lie in bed and wait, she could just as easily do the same at home.</p><p>She had a feeling that O’Donnell knew if he let her home she’d return to work. Keeping her in hospital was simply a way to keep her away from the station for a little while.</p><p>A timid knock at the door drew Stella out of her thoughts and she looked up to see Mrs Goodall hovering in the doorway.</p><p>“Come in. Please, take a seat.” Stella greeted her with a small smile.</p><p>Mrs Goodall returned it though it didn’t reach her eyes. “How are you?”</p><p>“I’m alright. Nothing serious, I think the doctor is just trying to keep me from returning to work.” Stella answered, attempting to ease the awkwardness.</p><p>Mrs Goodall nodded. “It was him, wasn’t it? They only told me you were involved in an incident at work.”</p><p>Stella nodded. “It was.”</p><p>“I wish I could say I don’t believe you. But there’s always been something about him that didn’t sit right with me. I thought I was just being too protective of Sally-Ann. I wish I’d done something about it.”</p><p>“You couldn’t have known. People like him put a great deal of effort into hiding their double lives. And as mothers, our first instinct is always to protect our children. But if we acted on every single little niggle in the back of our minds, we’d never let them out of the house and they would grow up rebelling in any way they could.”</p><p>Mrs Goodall sighed sadly and finally took a seat beside Stella’s bed. She took a deep breath and looked at the blonde with tears in her eyes. “I know you’ll take good care of Olivia. From what I can tell, you already are. I know you’ll do what’s best for her and get her the help she’ll need growing up. But all I ask is that you don’t let her forget us.”</p><p>Stella’s heart constricted at the quiet plea from the older woman. “I would never. You and your husband are more than welcome to come to London any time. I won’t keep her from you, you will always be her family. If you’d rather not travel I can bring her to visit you. I’ll do my best to ensure you stay a part of her life until she’s old enough to decide for herself what she wants. If that is to return to Belfast, I’ll do what I can to support her, if it’s to remain in London then she has a home with me for life. I’ll care for her just as I do my own daughters.”</p><p>“Thank you, Detective.” Mrs Goodall sniffed. “She’ll probably want to talk to you before she goes to sleep tonight, would that be alright?”</p><p>Stella nodded. “Of course.”</p><p>Mrs Goodall thanked her again before they bid each other an awkward goodbye and the woman left Stella alone once more.</p><p>She took a breath and enjoyed the quiet of the room for a moment. Since she’d been admitted it had been hard to just take a moment alone. Dani had been a constant and reassuring presence for the first while as they waited to hear how much damage Spector had done. She had only gone home when Stella had insisted that Eastwood was on his way to visit and update her on the state of things back at the station. And then soon off the back of Eastwood’s visit was the chat with Mrs Goodall. It was exhausting.</p><p>In the quiet now, the first thing to come to mind was that she still had to call Sophie. She had to make sure her daughter heard the news from her rather than the news or social media. With an uncomfortable groan she reached to the bag Eastwood had brought from her office and rummaged until she found her personal phone.</p><p>“Hi Mum!” Sophie’s cheery voice greeted her. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you.”</p><p>It wasn’t until she heard her daughter’s voice that Stella’s eyes filled with tears and a soft sob forced its way out of her chest.</p><p>“Mum?”</p><p>Another sob.</p><p>“Mum? Has something happened?”</p><p>Stella took a trembling breath and tried to gather herself, not wanting to cause her daughter any more worry. “I’m okay.”</p><p>“You don’t sound it.” Sophie replied softly. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Something happened at work today…” Stella paused and let her eyes fall to the blankets covering her. “I was attacked. I’m in hospital.”</p><p>The information was met with a stunned silence before she heard Sophie’s shocked whisper.</p><p>“Are you okay? How badly?”</p><p>“I’m okay. I have a fractured cheekbone, some badly bruised ribs and a few stitches on my eyebrow but I’m okay.” Stella answered honestly. “I’ve come to the conclusion that the doctor is holding me hostage to stop me from working.”</p><p>“As he should!” Sophie chuckled softly. “How did it even happen?”</p><p>“I baited him during an interrogation. He took the bait. I didn’t see it coming. Another officer was injured trying to get him off of me.”</p><p>“Oh god. Are they okay? The other officer?”</p><p>“He has a badly broken arm. But otherwise he’s alright.”</p><p>“Is there anything I can do? What’s happening with Olivia?” Sophie asked quickly and Stella was already anticipating her next question.</p><p>“Olivia is staying with her biological grandmother tonight. She’s going to explain what happened. If I’m discharged tomorrow then she’ll come back to stay with me again. If not then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”</p><p>“Shall I come to Belfast?” There it was. Stella was right. She knew Sophie was more worried than she was letting on. “I can either bring Leigh with me or see if Jackie can look after her for me. I don’t want you struggling on your own.”</p><p>Stella sighed. Truthfully at the minute all she wanted was a hug from her girls. “You don’t have to do that, Soph. I’ll be okay.”</p><p>“Fuck it. I’ll call Jackie as soon as I’m off the phone. I’m coming to Belfast. Send me the address of where you’re staying.” Sophie said firmly and Stella smiled. “I love you. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”</p><p>“I love you, too. Be careful, and keep me posted.”</p><p>“I will. I’ll see you soon, mum.”</p><p>Stella smiled and relaxed against the pillows. “I’ll see you soon, love. And Sophie… thank you.”</p><p>“Of course. Get some rest. I’ll be in touch.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I feel like this is really short and subpar but please let me know your thoughts anyway! thank you for reading :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oh my goodness this is long overdue! sorry for the delay, I stalled a little on this and found it hard to write but I think a small break helped me get a bit of a feel for it again! Hopefully it won't be ask long until the next chapter.</p><p>I wrote this quite late at night so while I've tried to read it over, please forgive any mistakes!</p><p>TW for mention and a brief description of Stella's attack</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stella hissed in pain as she tried to roll over as she woke. The painkillers that had been in her system when she fell asleep had long worn off. She looked around in an attempt to locate whatever had woken her. It took a moment but her eyes finally fell on the buzzing phone. She groaned as she reached over to retrieve it, answering without bothering to look at the caller ID.</p><p>“Gibson.”</p><p>“Mum, it’s me.” Sophie’s worried voice filtered through the background noise. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Stella mumbled a positive reply before clarifying. “I didn’t look at it before I answered. Are you alright, darling?”</p><p>“Fine. I’m sorry if I woke you. I just landed in Belfast. I was gonna leave Leigh at home since you’re hurt but when I spoke to Jackie she offered to come with me. That way Leigh’s here if you think your ribs are up to a reunion but I don’t have to worry about bringing her to the hospital.” Sophie explained. “We’re just leaving the airport now. I managed to find a cheap enough hire car so I’m gonna take Jackie and Leigh to the hotel and then have a quick shower before I come to you. It’s Belfast General, right?”</p><p>Stella sighed softly in response to her daughter’s fast, rambled information. She knew the girl well enough to know that while clearly organised and seemingly calm, she would be an anxious wreck inside.</p><p>“Yes, that’s right. Sophie, I really am okay. I promise. I’m a bit battered and bruised, but you don’t have to worry. Just take your time and take care. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”</p><p>“Right. Okay, I’m going to go now. I love you and I’ll see you soon.”</p><p>“Love you, darling.”</p><p>With the call ended, Stella let the phone drop onto the mattress beside her and took as deep a breath as she was able. She couldn’t wait to see her girls again but she wished nothing more than for it to be under better circumstances than this.</p><p>As she lay wondering how she could go about becoming more presentable for Sophie’s arrival, her thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a kind nurse. She recognised the woman from before she’d fallen asleep and gave her a tiny smile.</p><p>“How are you feeling, Stella?”</p><p>That was a loaded question.</p><p>“I brought your next dose of painkillers. We got a call from a Matt Eastwood while you were asleep. He didn’t want to risk disturbing you but left us a bag of some of your own clothes if you want me to bring it?”</p><p>The words were like music to Stella’s ears and she made a mental note to thank the man when she eventually relocated her phone.</p><p>“If you’d like to go for a shower, just let us know and we’ll get you some supplies. You can’t get the stitches wet and you might feel a little unsteady on your feet, so if you need any assistance don’t hesitate to give us a shout.”</p><p>Thank you.” Stella told the woman sincerely, searching her brain for the nurse’s name.</p><p>As soon as the nurse retreated back to the hallway, Stella fumbled amongst the blankets until she found her phone and shot a message to Eastwood thanking him for the clothes. She was grateful that he was busy in her absence. While she had plenty of time for him usually, today she wanted to focus on herself and Sophie.</p><p>She was surprised to find just how unsteady she felt upon getting to her feet and reluctantly perched on the edge of the hospital bed to call a nurse.</p><p>“Everything alright?”</p><p>Stella didn’t recognise the woman and she sighed before she spoke. “I’d like to go for a shower. But when I stand my legs feel like jelly. And I don’t have any toiletries.”</p><p>“Okay, I’m Sharon. Why don’t we try a walk to the bathroom? Sometimes all it takes is a bit of getting used to being on your feet. If you’re still unsure or unsteady after that then we can help with the shower.”</p><p>Stella nodded, praying that she felt better after the short trip down the hallway. The last thing she wanted was to be seen as being unable to even care for herself.</p><p>Sharon stayed barely a step behind Stella, carrying the bag of clothes as they slowly made their way to the bathroom. Once in the enclosed space, she set the bag in the corner near the shower and watched Stella ease herself down to sit on the closed toilet lid.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll go get you some body wash. I think it’s best for now if you avoid washing your hair just because of the stitches. Once you’re home, it’ll probably be easier if you have someone who can help with that over a bath or a sink.” Sharon explained. “When I’m back, we’ll get you back on your feet and see how you feel.”</p><p>Stella thanked the woman and took a few slow breaths. The nurse had been right, she did feel a little better after the short walk and she was more confident now that she’d manage a quick shower on her own.</p><p>A few moments later, Sharon knocked on the door and waited for Stella’s response before she entered. “Okay, Stella. How do you feel on your feet now?”</p><p>Stella stood slowly and waited a moment before assuring the nurse that she would be okay to shower alone.</p><p>“Brilliant. Here’s the bodywash I promised. And a towel, too. When you’re done, the bodywash can either go in your bag or the bin, it’s up to you. Just leave the towel on the floor in here. If at any point you need anything, just press that button there, if it’s an emergency, pull the cord. Alright?”</p><p>Stella nodded and thanked the nurse. With the door locked she made quick work of turning the shower on and turning up the heat. She was surprised to find the shower fixture was adaptable in height and she pulled it lower to ensure it would fall below her neck.</p><p>She avoided looking in the mirror as she let the hospital gown fall to the ground and then tied her hair up. She knew she’d have to look eventually – it would be unavoidable – but it didn’t have to be right now.</p><p>Stella let out a slow breath as she stepped under the hot water, basking in the way it stung her skin. It felt good to wash away the horrors of the previous day and she took her time lathering the generic body wash carefully over her tender ribs. Her focus was on the tiles in front of her, refusing to concentrate on the ache that radiated through her torso at the light pressure on her ribs.</p><p>Eventually she turned the water off and shuffled the few steps to sit on the toilet seat. The steam made her feel lightheaded and she knew it would do nobody any good if she was to faint and add to her injuries. After a moment to collect herself, Stella rummaged in the bag Eastwood had brought and smiles when she realised that he had packed possibly the comfiest clothes she had brought with her.</p><p>She slipped the soft bralette on over her head and carefully adjusted the hem over her ribs, cautious not to pull it down too far. Pulling her leggings on proved to be a challenge with the mix of her injured ribs and the humidity in the room. She had almost given in and was moments from calling a nurse to help her when she spotted a pair of joggers in the bag that she knew did not belong to her.</p><p>The thought of Matt sending her a pair of his own joggers just to ensure her comfort brought a smile to Stella’s face as she slipped them on easily, followed quickly by a pair of thick socks and a simple long sleeved top. With her feet stuffed into the slippers she found in the bag, Stella heaved the luggage awkwardly onto the shoulder on her good side and began the slow walk back to her room.</p><p>“Just in time for breakfast.” Sharon smiled as Stella approached the bed. “Just some tea and toast I’m afraid. Your late admission meant that you missed the order slot.”</p><p>“It’s perfect, thank you.” Stella sent the woman a small smile as she abandoned the bag and eased herself onto the bed, grateful that the nurses had propped it up and rearranged the blankets in her absence. Her phone now sat on the table beside her breakfast.</p><p>The nurse took her leave and Stella took a tentative sip of the hot tea. She sighed happily and took another sip before she reached for the toast. She checked her phone as she ate, sending a thank you text to Matt and replying to Sophie’s announcement that she was on her way.</p><p>True to her word, Sophie arrived moments after Stella had finished her breakfast, armed with two takeaway cups of coffee.</p><p>“Oh my god.” The words were barely a whisper as they tumbled past Sophie’s lips, her eyes taking in the hard bruising covering almost half of her mother’s face.</p><p>“I’m okay, Soph.”</p><p>“You keep saying that, but look at you.” Sophie responded, her eyes brimming with unshed tears as she slowly approached the bed.</p><p>Stella waited for her daughter to deposit the cups on the table before she patted the space beside her and held her arms out to embrace her eldest.</p><p>As soon as their arms wrapped around each other, both realised just how badly they had been needing the hug. Tears burned Stella’s eyes at the sound of Sophie’s soft sob, but she refused to let them fall. She brushed off the apology Sophie gave her and loosened her grip, allowing the young woman to shift over a little, ensuring they could look at each other properly.</p><p>“What happened?” Sophie asked, unable to tear her eyes from the stitches on Stella’s eyebrow.</p><p>“It’s just like I told you on the phone. I don’t remember much of it, if I’m honest. I was interviewing the suspect and I was baiting him, trying to back him into a corner so that his only option was to confess. It worked and I knew he was getting angry. But I got complacent. I let me guard down as we were leaving to take a break. He took the opportunity and attacked me.”</p><p>Sophie ran a hand through her blonde hair. “Will they be able to charge him for it?”</p><p>Stella nodded. “They should be able to make them stick. Interviews are all monitored with audio and video recordings so there’s evidence of exactly what happened. Eastwood won’t tell me much. Or anything, actually.”</p><p>“Rightfully so. You should be resting and getting better, not working.”</p><p>Stella nodded. “It feels wrong to say I’m happy you’re here. But I’ve missed you so much. Thank you for coming.”</p><p>“I missed you, too. I wish it hadn’t taken this to bring me over here. But I’m glad to see you.”</p><p>Stella took her daughter’s hand in one of her own, cradling the coffee cup in the other. “How’s Leigh? Was she okay on the plane?”</p><p>Sophie shrugged. “She was find on the plane. But she was not a fan of the airport at all. I think it was too loud and crowded for her. She was asleep when I left. Jackie says to send her love, by the way.”</p><p>Stella smiled at the thought of her daughter’s best friend. The two had grown up side by side and she was beyond glad that Sophie had someone she could count on. “Thank her for me. I appreciate that she dropped everything to help us both out.”</p><p>Sophie nodded and changed the subject to Olivia. Stella spent the next two hours filling her daughter in on every detail of the situation, answering questions when needed. She was glad that Sophie was taking the whole thing in her stride, despite the huge adaption.</p><p>“I’m almost finished painting her room. I thought I could leave the bedsheets and accessories until you come home. That way she can pick some things and it feels like it’s her room. I’m assuming her granny has some of her toys and things that she’ll want to bring with her?”</p><p>Stella nodded. Mrs Goodall had informed her that the majority of Olivia’s toys that once sat in her bedroom at home now resided at the Goodall’s farm. The couple were happy to keep some of them and send some others to London, refusing Stella’s repeated offers to pay for the postage.</p><p>“I’m not sure when I’ll be allowed out of here so I’m also not sure when Olivia will be coming back to the house, but once she’d adjusted again, it would be nice if you could meet her.”</p><p>“Of course.” Sophie smiled genuinely. “If there’s anything that needs done at the house that you don’t think you can manage with your ribs, if you give me the keys then Jackie and I can head over and get it sorted before you get home.”</p><p>Stella nodded and then froze. “I don’t have the keys.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“A colleague, Matt. Matt Eastwood, he has my keys. They were left in my bag in my office when I was brought here. He brought me a bag of my clothes before I woke up. He didn’t want to leave the keys with just anyone so he kept hold of them.” Stella explained.</p><p>“If he’s to busy to meet us at the house, tell him Jackie and I will stop by wherever your offices are later and collect the keys from him.”</p><p>Stella nodded, thankful for her daughter’s thoughtfulness. It really was good to have her close by again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading, lemme know your thoughts!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you got this far, please let me know what you think! There's a bit more of this to come yet.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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